Or how does a posi-trac rear end on a Plymouth work?

It just does.

Thank Zeus that’s over!

But as a man, we are prone to having a one track mind and lately it has been on one track and that track is made completely out of bacon.

Occasionally it has been boobs and explosions, but mostly bacon.

So while I make no promises when it comes to the world’s most delicious meat, this is the last post about bacon for a little while.

Maybe.

Enjoy.

(Click the thumbnail for the Bacon Flowchart) 

or

GWAR

There are too many of you out there that don’t value what it is to be a MAN.

So this is the first of many to have their Man License…SUSPENDED!

This blog has links to 50 different ways to use bacon.

Here are some of my sure-to-be favorites…

The Bacon-Wrapped Deep Fried Hot Dog

Bacon Popcorn

Bacon-Cheese Fundido

and the aforementioned Bacon-Wrapped Tater Tots

You can rest of the 50 Uses at StartCooking.com

Now excuse me while I put my heart to the test with all these new Bacon Masterpieces.

I sure can’t.

A co-worker of mine saw that I was eating a steak and bacon sandwich and asked me if steak-bacon (if it was real) would be my favorite food ever.

I replied to him that it would indeed be my favorite mythical food and that I would treasure it always.

He then asked me if I would marry Steak-Bacon.

I told him “Yes” and every question about Steak-Bacon would also be an affirmative.

I told him I would not only marry Steak-Bacon, I would introduce it to my parents and meet Steak-Bacons parents as well.

That is when he realized what I was up to.

He accused me of only agreeing to meet Steak-Bacons’ parents with the intent eating them.

I admitted it. He asked me if Steak-Bacon and I would have children and if I would even think of eating them.

To that I replied “No.”, I would not eat my Steak-Bacon children but what I would do is support them and hope that someday they would meet someone special, preferrably Gravy so that they could produce grandbabies made from Steak-Bacon and Gravy.

And then I would eat them.

Finally when my dear co-worker decided to get a little personal with his line of questions he asked, “Would you spoon your Steak-Bacon?”.

And thats when I told him…
“You don’t spoon Steak-Bacon…you fork the sh*t out of it.”

I spent a majority of my tax refund on both. Luckily milkshakes are cheaper and you could ask my co-workers what I had for lunch almost every day for the past couple months.

But what if you could have both?

I call mine “Shteak”!

Mmmmmm….

What would you combine to make your dream food?

He takes pride in his landscaping and even owns a rideable lawnmower.

A true staple of the American Dream.

He has a beer belly.

Yet another mark of a good ol’ boy.

He may look and act like a regular Joe…

…but he has made a fatal Man mistake.

Due to what he calls a “medical condition”, Jay has decided that jeans, pants and even shorts would not be enough to fight this malady of his.

So the dude wears a skirt.

You heard me right, a SKIRT.

And all because of “swamp ass”.

While his landscaping customers don’t seem to mind, the municipal authorities have cited him for indecency but he is so against pants that he demands the rule doesn’t apply to him because of his medical condition and even has a doctor’s note to prove it.

Jay Herrod, I hope they do more than cite you, I hope they suspend your Man License.